Where Acts of Kindness are the Norm

Day 16 of the @BestSelfCo Edison Deck Challenge asks the question, "If you could live in a sitcom, which one would it be and why?" I've been meaning to write my answer for the past 6 weeks, but moving from California to Washington took precedent, and then assisting my daughter in her opposite move from Washington to California was an act of love that I had a calling to assist with. Who doesn't need a one-armed unpacker?

As compelling as it would be to sit in a bar with the cast of "Cheers" where everyone would know my name and Norm would make me feel like a sunny optimist, our pandemic-plagued world makes even that seem both dangerous and passé. There is no room in the Best Self question to nominate a drama as much as I love the intrigue and recognize the malignant narcissists (a term I borrowed from a whip-smart colleague) in HBO’s "Succession," a world that is better to be a voyeur than a participant. I'd count (or is it I'm counting) my blessings to not be a contestant in those all-too familiar entitlement games.

Hands down, with no hesitation in my mind, the sitcom I would live in today is "Ted Lasso." It would have been my answer after the first episode and before all the accolades and awards, not just because it makes me laugh, and we all need a bit of levity, but because in 35 minutes or so, kindness and doing the right thing have a fighting chance. And that's different than saying that kindness and doing the right thing win, because that's not always evident. Here are a few reasons of why Ted Lasso's world is so compelling:

1. A man that makes biscuits for his female boss without sexual innuendo or expectation of a transaction is refreshing.

2. We finally have fast-talking competitors to Lorelai and Rory Gilmore of "Gilmore Girls" worth the wait. Both have witty writing, literary and social references that work on so many different levels, and flawed characters that you are invited to get to know and trust. That's what I loved about "Gilmore Girls" and "Ted Lasso" has enough of all that bundled into an unlikely testosterone-filled locker room, conveniently tucked away in the suburbs of London. The combination of a geographical escape and real people that are both street smart and book smart make for an intoxicating world.

3. The fact that the F-bomb can fly unfiltered and frequently from predominately my favorite character, Roy Kent, without standing in the way of unveiling his underlying vulnerability and goodness. Plus he can make a mean rose-petaled, candlelit bath.

4. Finally a world where the "Ruperts" of the world (whether modeled after Rupert Murdoch or not) have no power when kindness is the adopted currency. Money, power, and huberis just can't buy or deliver in Ted Lasso's kind culture. It is a world where the "Ruperts" are rendered obsolete, and simply out of fashion.

5. In a Ted Lasso world, leadership is about taking care of each other and reconfiguring the metrics of success from winning and losing to caring and personal character. Leadership is equitably distributed to those with or without charisma. Charisma may be entertaining, but so far character and heart have the winning record.

6. Introverts are proudly allowed and recognized for their superhero powers that include being under the radar rainmakers. We all need a Dr. Sharon Fieldstone who sets boundaries and is a path for healing. And as the team therapist, she faces the "whys?" with wisdom and shows that even a therapist is needy of a kind culture.

7. The team is international and multicultural issues aren't shellacked into a single episode or a single casting decision that screams of tokenism. Corrupt capitalism, world order, environmentalism and the word "wanker" are all given equal play.

8. Whether it is fact or fiction, a one-nighter can happen without shame or expectation. Ted and Sassy can thank each other for giving each other what they needed in a single moment in time. Filling the needs of two consenting adults doesn't lead to embarrassment or avoidance. In Ted Lasso's world, sex is also kind whether it is casual or lasting.

9. Difficult and painful relationships are put front and center. Bravery wins and the hurt isn't replaced but rather embraced by a community that cares. Sometimes it’s an individual that steps into the line of fire, and sometimes it's a team effort. But all the same there is a safety net that says, "We/You are enough."

10. The women in Ted Lasso embrace both their feminine side, and their inner power. They don't apologize for being complex, they model strong archetypes for the next generation, and they are comfortable in their own skin. Bitch Boss is a term of endearment given by an adoring teenage goddaughter, Keeley’s goofy personality does not minimize her competence, and Sassy’s and Rebecca’s libido are normalized rather than sexualized.

At the end of the day, we all know that sitcoms don’t go on forever, and the audiences, casts, writers, directors, and crew go on to other worlds. But the hope is that a little bit of kindness from Ted Lasso’s world will have staying power. That is the part I hope to carry forward in this present world with all its imperfections.